My Eight-Week Postpartum Check

What the appointment showed, and whether healing slowly was worth it...

Eight weeks already, and I keep thinking about how different this feels from those first newborn bubble weeks when I couldn't do much more than stay on the bed and nurse. The thing I've loved most lately is being able to pick up Poppy and Elliott again, scooping them up for snuggles, helping them with something, carrying them when they need me. For weeks I felt so limited, standing at the bottom of the stairs waiting for Anthony to bring them down to me, and now I can just reach down and lift them up like I used to. Elliott keeps asking me, "better now?" because I always told him that when I'm healed and better I could pick him up again, and even though I've picked him up quite a bit by now, he still asks me every time. I just laugh and tell him, yeah little man, I've been better for a few weeks now.

Our days have more of a solid routine now. Clive usually nurses then goes down around 9 or 10pm, then wakes around 2 or 3am, then again around 5 or 6am, and after that he sleeps until 8:30am. He was in my bed with me for a while, but we recently set up his crib in my room right next to my bed, so Poppy and Elliott can sleep in our bed when they want to and Clive is still close enough that I can grab him easily in the night. We go to bed around 9:30pm, so even though I’m getting up in the night I still feel rested, I haven’t felt too tired this way. Usually I’ll nurse one side, then change his diaper and nurse him on the other. The times I’ve skipped the second side and laid him back down, he’s woken up so much sooner, so I try to do a full feeding every time he wakes, which gets me more sleep in a row after.

In the mornings Anthony works out first while I do the early feeding, and then we switch. He takes Clive so I can go get my own workout in with red light therapy, and he starts breakfast with the kids. We come back in and all do devotion together over breakfast, and then for the past five weeks we’ve been heading to ISR (Infant Swim Rescue) lessons. When we get back it’s lunch, and the afternoon is when I’ll get on the computer, film, or work in the garden, depending on the day. I’m wearing Clive for most of his naps. I’ll either wear him until he falls asleep and then lay him in his crib, or if we’re staying inside I’ll just keep him on me because he sometimes sleeps better that way. But if I’m going to be out in the heat, I like to put him down in his crib so he can get a solid nap. I really just go off what he’s doing. I don’t stress about what time he sleeps or where he sleeps, as long as he sleeps, that’s the most important part.

Back to ISR, because it's been a whole thing these past weeks. When we first started, both kids were screaming and crying and they didn't want to do it, they were scared of the water, especially without their swim vests on, (our instructor had us get rid of the swim vests after the first day since she said they teach kids a false sense of security and put them in the wrong position for learning to swim). Those first three days were rough enough that I wasn't sure it would be like this the whole time, but then something switched. The lessons are only ten minutes each so they're quick, but they're going every day and seeing the same instructor, and they started understanding what to do, and the quicker they did the amount of swims required the quicker the lesson would be over, and then they started having fun with it.

Now Elliott cries when the lesson ends because he wants to keep swimming! Which after that first week of tears is not something I saw coming, but so proud of them both. We've been having good talks with them about how good things are often hard, as much as we can explain it to them anyway. Poppy understands it more than Elliott does and it's been a sweet little lesson for all of us.

I'd been resting and taking it slow for weeks now, wondering the whole time if it was doing anything, and yesterday at my postpartum check with Shannon I finally found out…