My Home Birth Story
Four births, four very different experiences, and what this one taught me...
This is my fourth baby and I've had all different types of births. My first was a c-section, my second was medicated in the hospital, my third was unmedicated in the hospital, and this was my first home birth. This birth moved even quicker than my last and my midwife missed it by ten minutes. I get into all of that in this post…how it all went and my overall thoughts about the experience.
Let me back up for a second because to understand why this experience was so different for me, you have to know where I started. With my c-section I had just turned twenty and the doctor made it seem like it would be an easier route, and I thought so too, but the recovery was terrible even for me being so young. It was an elective c-section, not medically necessary, and I had no idea what I was agreeing to. I knew I never wanted to do that again. The recovery process was downplayed and the worst of the pain was after Jadyn was born, not during, and not being able to lift her and having staples was the hardest part.
With Poppy I really wanted to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) and my doctor at the time kept pushing a scheduled c-section, even though fourteen years had passed and I wasn't high risk for rupture based on my scar type. She kept finding reasons to talk me out of it, even telling me at one point that Poppy's head was too big and I'd most likely need a c-section anyway and wanted to refer me to a specialist. When I looked up the specialist and read the reviews saying he almost always recommended c-sections, I knew I needed to find a different doctor. I ended up leaving that practice at eight months pregnant to find someone who would be open to me trying, and I found one who believed in me and listened to what I wanted. I had a successful medicated VBAC with Poppy but I almost didn't make it to the hospital in time to get the epidural. I begged one of the nurses, told her I'd sit still during a contraction. I wasn't mentally prepped to do it without. I got the epidural and everything slowed down, I couldn't tell if I was pushing when they told me to, and my legs being numb after was something I didn't like. The recovery wasn't nearly as bad as the c-section but I definitely felt more out of it after, and I never considered going unmedicated at that point, absolutely not. That thought didn't even cross my mind… until Elliott.
Then with Elliott it seemed to go from zero to a hundred quick and by the time contractions were getting intense we were frantically trying to get things together to leave for the hospital. I had him at 38 weeks and assumed I'd have until 40…so no hospital bag was packed. By the time we got there I had the urge to push and they told me right away there was no time for an epidural. I was so mad at myself because I knew we'd left too late, I'd told myself I wouldn't do that again after arriving too close with Poppy. The panic of knowing I'd be doing it without lasted about a second, because the nurses told me to get into whatever position felt right and kept telling me I could do this and it would be quick. And they were right. I was free to be in any position I wanted, I could actually feel myself pushing, and I felt way more in control than I expected. It was intense but it was over fast, and the moment he was born I could feel the relief of it that I hadn't felt the same way with an epidural. I felt amazing afterwards with no numbness having to wear off and Elliott was much more alert than Poppy was too. The cramping after was uncomfortable because you can feel all of that right away, but it gave me the confidence that I could do it again. It wasn't like I had originally thought it would be. Where the epidural slows things down, going without it lets your body do what it needs to do without anything getting in the way, your body takes over and knows what to do. After Elliott I started thinking differently, not just that I could do unmedicated again, but that the hospital itself was starting to feel unnecessary for how my births were going. The scariest part of that whole experience wasn't the birth, it was the rushing to get there in time and not feeling safe in the car while I was in active labor.
With how quickly things had progressed I knew that unless I got to the hospital when contractions weren’t painful yet, that was really the only way I’d make it there in time, and I didn’t feel like the hospital did much for me with an unmedicated birth anyway. I knew I could do it at home with a good team and an emergency plan in place, and moving to Tennessee made that feel even more possible. Out here anyone who’s pregnant, you ask them who their doctor is and it’s always “I have a midwife.” It’s very common here to do a home birth, so much so that there’s a popular clinic that’s hard to get into and I was told the moment I got a positive pregnancy test to call and get scheduled, otherwise they book out. They wouldn't take me because I was a VBAC, which gave me a weird feeling at first because I've done it before, I know how my births go, I just needed someone trained in VBAC in case of rupture. I was referred to Shannon, who was also hard to get into because she was in high demand, but she takes on higher risk cases for people like me who get turned away from some standard midwife clinics. I talk more about her credentials and how she helped me prep for labor in the posts linked here:
My Midwife’s Labor Prep Plan (and What I’ve Added on My Own)
My Midwife Home Visit: The Full Plan, My Labor Kit, and Postpartum Essentials
The day before he was born, I was almost 40 weeks when I went in for what I hoped would be my last prenatal checkup. Everything felt so heavy and the pressure was very low, I knew things were close. But when she checked on him his heart rate was much higher than normal, which can be a sign of stress…
(the full post continues below for my Substack family)