When Is Too Old to Have a Baby?

I had my first at 20 and my fourth at 39, and I've been asking myself this question more lately...

While I was pregnant with Clive, I'd be out somewhere and people would ask me if this was my first, and when I'd tell them he was my fourth and that I'm 39, I'd get "oh you don't look that old!" Then they'd ask the ages of my kids and I'd get "you don't look old enough to have a college-aged kid!" So it had me thinking… when is it too old to have a baby?

Is it external pressure about the age? Is it because I had Jadyn so young that I was always considered the young mom, and now I'll be considered an old mom?

I get asked this a lot too. People message me saying they’re worried they waited too long, or that they’re 37 and their doctor said something that scared them about being a geriatric pregnancy, or that they’re not old enough, 24 and everyone around them telling them to wait even though they’re married and feel ready.

If you’re new here, Jadyn is my oldest and I had her when I was 20. She turns 20 herself this January. I was a single mom until she was 3 when Anthony and I met, and by the time we got married and settled into life together she was 6. Then Anthony and I waited 8 more years to have a baby together. Poppy was born when I was 34, Elliott when I was 36, and Clive this past May at 39. There’s 19 years between my oldest and my youngest, and I’ve been on both ends of it, 20 with my first and 39 with my fourth.

So I'm writing it all out here, everything I'd tell you if you sat down across from me and asked, what having a baby at 20 was like versus 39, where that geriatric label came from, and when I think it's too old…